Sunday food for thought.
I was watching SNL while grading yesterday, and I endured the hugs, tears, and slow dances that commemorated Kristen Wiig’s last day. As Mick Jagger led the chorus of featured players, the room erupted in the most beautiful melody of “Ruby Tuesday.”
As the episode came to its inevitable end, I couldn’t help but contemplate the notion of goodbye. Growing up leads to goodbye no matter how you look at it. Goodbye high school and every ounce of orange and black clothing you own. Goodbye college and every memory you once thought you’d never have.. and those that you don’t remember having. Goodbye childhood home where you broke more things than you can count and are sure that your parents haven’t figured that out yet.
Any optimist would to respond to this post by saying that “when one door closes, another opens” or “if a door closes, a window opens,” something positive like that. I agree – every situation has its silver lining. I think the challenge of adulthood in particular is embracing that things end for a multitude of reasons, and often, we can’t go back from that. The friends that were lost in a change of path. The big move. The last day of school. The death of a loved one. We can’t change time; we can’t rewrite life to omit loss or hardship. However, we can try our best to embrace it.
Six months ago, I moved out of my parents house for good and began my life as an adult (or, at least I felt that my adult life began there). Six months ago, I emptied my childhood room that was once the home of Barbies and legos and every Tiger Beat poster of ‘NSYNC ever produced. The room where I cried over broken hearts. The room where I learned that three-way calling actually sucks. The room where I sought refuge from arguments and found a safe haven on a piece of lined paper. The room that was my recording studio, my gallery, my runway. Now it’s an office with a futon, and my childhood is stashed away in a tiny closet in the corner. That goodbye was bitter sweet, and on days when I’m dying from allergies (often) or snowed in (also often), I wish I were home watching The Price is Right and gossiping over tea with my mom.. or losing at whatever video game appealed to my brother at the time.. or pretending to listen to a conversation about finances with my dad. Sometimes, it’s a tough goodbye to grapple with.
In three months, I’ll be saying goodbye to my baby dragons as they finish their sixth grade year. It’s inevitable. The best that we can do.. knowing that one day we’ll move on, our kids (students) will grow, and our dreams will change is that we will always have the good times to turn back to on dark days. Kristen Wiig will always have her memories of SNL. I will always have mine of the being a husky, gladiator, hornet, Viking, and prof.. and of my first year in 6-3.
Still, I’m going to miss it, and whatever your life changes for you, I know that you’ll miss it, too.–Ms. procraStinating (and listening to the Stones)